Is your relationship a situationship? Signs to watch out for

Like everything else in today’s modern world, we are seeing colossal changes even in romantic relationships. The shift from traditional and societal norms have given rise to ‘situationships’. It draws a thin line between being emotionally invested and not fully committed when apart and offers freedom and flexibility in a relationship. 

Now, what exactly is a Situationship and how can we tell if we are in one. 

A situationship is a type of relationship that exists without clear definitions, boundaries, or labels. It's a gray area where two people may be involved with each other, but they haven’t fully defined the relationship. While it might feel like a romantic connection, a situationship lacks the commitment and depth that usually come with a formal relationship. It can feel like you're more than friends but less than a couple.

In Indian culture, where commitment and arranged marriages are often emphasized, a situationship may cause confusion, frustration, or even heartache. But how do you know if you're in one? Here are some telltale signs to look out for.

1. The "What Are We?" Question Never Gets Answered

In any healthy relationship, it’s natural to wonder about the future. In a committed relationship, both partners are clear about where they stand. However, in a situationship, the big question—"What are we?"—goes unanswered or is avoided. If you’ve been together for months but still don’t know where you stand, it's a sign that you might be in a situationship. If every conversation about commitment is brushed aside or met with vague responses like, "Let’s just see where things go," you might be stuck in limbo.

2. Communication is Inconsistent

In a solid relationship, communication is key. You check in with each other regularly, have meaningful conversations, and make time for each other. However, in a situationship, communication often feels sporadic. One moment, they’re texting or calling nonstop; the next, you go days without hearing from them. If the communication is only consistent when it suits them, or when they need something, it could be a sign of a situationship.

3. You’re Not Introduced to Their Friends and Family

In a committed relationship, it’s common to meet each other’s friends and family. This is an important step in developing deeper connections. But if you’re in a situationship, chances are you haven’t met their closest friends or family members. They may avoid introducing you to the people who matter most in their life, which indicates they aren’t ready to make you an integral part of their world.

4. Physical Intimacy, But Emotional Distance

Situationships often feature physical intimacy (kissing, cuddling, sex) but lack emotional intimacy. In a real relationship, emotional connection is as important as the physical. But in a situationship, you might find that after a night of passion, there’s no meaningful conversation, no “checking in,” or no emotional bonding. It’s all about the physical connection, without much depth or meaningful engagement.

5. You Feel Like You’re Doing All the Effort

In a committed relationship, both partners invest equally. You make time for each other, plan dates, and communicate openly. In a situationship, however, you may feel like you’re the one always initiating plans or reaching out. If your partner is distant, only contacts you when it’s convenient for them, or doesn’t make an effort to spend time with you, it’s a strong sign that you’re in a situationship.

6. There’s No Future Talk

A committed relationship naturally involves conversations about the future: vacations, career plans, or even the possibility of moving in together. However, if your conversations about the future are non-existent or met with uncomfortable silence, you’re likely in a situationship. They might avoid talking about long-term goals or your relationship’s future because they don't see you as part of it.

7. You’re Left in the Dark After Arguments

Disagreements and conflicts are natural in any relationship, but how they’re handled says a lot about the relationship’s health. In a committed relationship, both partners work through problems together, resolve issues, and come out stronger. In a situationship, however, you may find that after an argument or a disagreement, the other person either avoids you or dismisses the issue altogether. There’s no effort to discuss, understand, or move forward, leaving you feeling uncertain.

8. You’re Not Their Priority

In a real relationship, both partners prioritise each other. They make time for each other, even when life gets busy. But in a situationship, you might notice that your partner seems to have time for everyone else but you. They may cancel plans, delay responses, or put minimal effort into maintaining the connection.

So, What Should You Do?

If you seem to be agreeing to everything above being true to you and realising you’re in a situationship, it’s time to take a step back and think about your needs. Do you want more than just an undefined connection? Are you looking for a relationship built on mutual commitment, trust, and communication? If so, it’s important to have an honest conversation with your partner about what you seek from the relationship. If they’re not ready for the same commitment, it may be time to move on and focus on finding a partnership that aligns with your goals. 

Final Thoughts

Being in a situationship can be confusing and emotionally draining. While it may seem harmless at first, the lack of commitment and clarity can lead to frustration. It’s important to recognise the signs early on and decide whether this relationship aligns with your values and long-term goals. In the end, you deserve a relationship that is defined, committed, and full of mutual respect. Don’t settle for uncertainty—choose clarity and genuine connection instead.

If you feel stuck in a situationship, remember, you are not alone. Open communication is the key to understanding where both partners stand and what they want out of the relationship.